I had to wipe my mother-in-law!

My mother in law has had 2 facelifts, cheek implants, a chin implant, eye lift, a boob job, and a tummy tuck.  Each time she does this, she comes to my house to recover, though she has her own daughter she can go to. She says her daughter is too busy, she works too hard.  My husband and I have 3 boys under the age of 6, and her daughter has no children. I work part-time from home, but none of that matters to her.

To top it off, we have to order her meals from all the top notch local restaurants because she “just can’t eat those family-style meals you all eat.” Meanwhile I am serving her meals in bed on a tray, and cleaning her gross wounds and helping her to the bathroom. One night she begged me to sit in the bathroom  while she had a bath, because she was afraid she might need me. It took so long I fell asleep on the sink.

My husband fails to mention to her that we can not afford all those ritzy meals, and she should pay for them herself. If she can afford all that fancy surgery, shouldn’t she be able to buy her meals?

The last operation was a tummy tuck. She yelled for me in a panic to come help. I ran into the guest room and saw her on the floor, with her pants soiled. The medication had messed with her and given her such a case of diarrhea that she couldn’t make it to the bathroom. I helped her up. Then she said – “Can you please clean me up, I’m just too nauseated.”

I said, “I’ll just throw on the shower and you can get in right away.”  

She said, “Oh, no. I’m too dizzy. Please just take a washcloth and clean me off.”

I was so stunned I didn’t know what to do.

I wet the cloth and handed it her, still thinking she couldn’t mean it. She handed it right back to me. I had to peel off the soiled clothes, (and later wash them) and then clean her up. I gagged several times and swore that was the end for me.

Just a year later, she wanted to do another facelift. I told her daughter that I would not take her in, and my husband finally backed me up. I fibbed a little, said that the kids were all sick and I was too tired.

My sister-in-law said, “Let her hire some one.”

I said, “Fine, then you can suggest that to her, since she’s your mother.”

My sister-in-law never said a word to her mother. The day before her facelift, MIL called to arrange how I was going to pick her up and bring her to my house. I said, “Didn’t your daughter suggest that you hire someone?”

She said, “Why would she do that?”

I said, “Because it’s not convenient for us.”

It’s been 2 years and  she still talks about how inconvenient she is to me. I don’t know why I was so afraid of this. I ignore her snide remarks and take pleasure in the fact that someone else will be wiping her ass. It’s my sister in laws’ problem now!

From Finally Done! in Atlanta, GA